soundings

Hey Somalia, Log On

One, exactly one, Malaysian person has visited athensuncharted. To that end, I’d like to thank you, Mister Malaysian.

Dear Malaysian visitor,

What the hell were you thinking? Why in God’s name did you visit our Georgia arts magazine? You live in the South Pacific. Go outside, for God’s sake.

Thank you for your support, Mister, or Misses, Malaysian. Feel free to come back any time.

Sincerely,

    Bo and Mark

I’m both in complete and total awe and more than a little frightened by the fact that we can track where our visitors are coming from. Naturally, most of our visitors are American. That makes sense. The magazine is dedicated to American artists. But that’s not to say that we’re a xenophobic art site. We’d be more than happy to feature interviews, slide shows, short movies, kabuki tutorials, German beer hall songs sung with the aid of a bouncing ball, French pantomime, and Aboriginal teleportation videos, whatever. But, since the focus of the site is local art, the aborigines would have to teleport to somewhere on Clayton Street, or else we’d feel like we were straying a little off-topic.

Besides America, we’ve had a decent number of Canadian visitors. That’s cool, eh? Who doesn’t love Canada? We’ve had six Greek visitors, probably all confused Greeks trying to book passage on some rock climbing tour bus on the isle of Lesbos. I can’t blame them for their love of lesbian rock climbing, we’re all fans, but I hope they enjoyed their brief, frustrating, and likely very angry, stop at athensuncharted.

We’ve had:

One visitor from Madagascar. Confused lemur wrangler?

One from Portugal. Five hundred year old seaman searching for the lost trail to Greece?

One from Sweden, but none from Norway. What’s up, Oslo?  Show us some love.

One from Japan. One from Australia. We love you, Pacific Rim. Tell Mongolia to drop us a line.

One from Slovenia. Please, email us and tell us where the hell Slovenia is?

One from New Zealand. If you come back, we’ll give you the secret directions to Old Zealand that only we know.

And there are more, plenty more, confused international art lovers and sports enthusiasts. BUT, there’s still about half of the world left. Nobody from Morocco, nobody from Bolivia. Come on, Bolivia. What could be more central to your lives than learning about the Athens, Georgia art scene?

In closing, we’d like to extend a welcoming hand to anyone, of any nationality, for any reason, at any time of the day or night, to log on to athensuncharted, check out the amazing local artists’ work, lounge in our spacious jukebox, and compete with your neighboring countries for numbers of views. It could be like the Olympics, only sadder and with less fanfare. We want everybody. We don’t discriminate against art lovers of any nationality. And seriously, what else is there to do in Greenland?

Bowen Craig

Categories: soundings